The Sober Tradition I Should Have Invented
And a desperate plea.
A while back, I wrote about sober traditions we should invent. The idea being that sobriety has certain milestones that we should celebrate just like we celebrate ordinary milestones such as birthdays, baptisms, marriages, new homes, new jobs, and the birth of children.
I recently had an experience that made me aware of a new tradition we should invent. I was surprised that something I did had such a positive impact on the guests and members at our Church’s recovery meeting. And it is especially surprising because I had seen examples of it online for years without realizing it.
Our church displays a few PowerPoint slides on a screen before the start of church. Resilient Recovery has a slide in the rotation. However, the slide was outdated and no longer “on brand,” as marketers are wont to say. So, I decided to take some pictures at a meeting and see if I could update the slide with the charming visages of Resilient attendees.
Creating a slide is standard work that I can do on autopilot. Assemble some text for photo consent forms. Line people up and snap, snap. Then edit the photos and throw them on some branded slides. Yawn.
What I did not expect was the positive reaction to the photos from the participants. When I brought a mock-up of the slide to the next meeting, people acted like it was a cross between senior high school photo day and getting your picture in the local paper.
It especially surprised me when dudes got hyped about the photos. “Oh. Cool! Can I get an extra copy to send to my lady?” A couple of people really liked that the photo featured Resilient branding, including a black, white, and green wave and logo. I had to print out additional copies due to the high demand. A week or two later, when I put a picture of the ladies on the invitation cards, the men mentioned several times that they wanted an invitation card with their picture on it.
This got me thinking. What is it about group photos that people like so much? And how can I shamelessly manipulate people to stay sober with said photos? *Twirls moustache between a finger and thumb, silent film villain-style*
The meaning of photos
I think we all like group photos because they are evidence of belonging. It is an instant and concrete artifact that says, “I belong here. We’re a group!” It can also serve as a memory anchor—a sort of time capsule one can return to in a nostalgic moment: “Remember when we were just starting out in our recovery? I wonder what ever happened to THAT guy? Wow. I had so much hair back then.” OK, maybe that last part is particular to me.
But for people in recovery, there are even more reasons to be excited about photos. I’ll just bullet three:
Proof of progress. On recovery-themed social media, during/after photos are comon. They serve much the same function as the before/after photos for dieters. Sometimes the “During” photo is a mugshot. Other times, a hospital bed. But even when the “During” photo is less dramatic, gaunt features, lifeless eyes, and poor hygiene are often on display. The “after” photos show a smiling, happy face—sometimes the during and after photos don’t even look like pictures of the same person.
General lack of photos. Homeless addicts don’t keep scrapbooks. In fact, phones and other devices with cameras are often lost or stolen on the first day of a binge. The “Losing of The Phone” is such a common occurrence that it could be a screening question for addiction: “I have lost a phone or other electronic device while drinking. 1= No, never; 4=Almost everytime I drink.” Along with the loss of the phone many lose access to social media.
I wonder if the absence of photos during relapses might lead to a build-up of demand for photos in recovery.
How to use photos
You might think that confidentiality is a huge concern for resilient attendees. And it is for some. We make participation in photos optional. People can—and do—opt out of having their picture taken.
However, the evidence from this latest round of photos is overwhelming: some people genuinely enjoy the pictures and take pride in being Resilient models. So here are some ideas I’ll be considering:
A wall of participants. I think people would like seeing their smiling mug on the wall. Since we repurpose the church office for our meetings, the pictures could be displayed on a poster board that I could easily put up and take down for each meeting. This would also serve the additional purpose of making the space feel more welcoming and less like a traditional church office to newcomers. I think a wall of photos sends an instant message of “This is a place people just like you are proud to come to, and that you are going to like.” It’s a perfect usage of Cialdini’s “Social Proof” persuasion principle.
Look, Ma. I’m sober. I think we should encourage people to post their own healthy sobriety photo on Facebook, or to send it home in a letter to a loved one. This could also serve as a powerful motivator to stay sober. Sending a sober photo to family is an example of Cialdini’s “Commitment Consistency” persuasion principle. It encourages sobriety because it is an active, voluntary, and public endorsement of the benefits of sobriety.
Honor Roll. We could display memorable photos of people who celebrate their accomplishments. For example, “I’m a Facilitator,” “I got my first job,” “This is my new apartment,” “I got new teeth,” or “A Year of Sobriety.”
Create a yearbook or newsletter for participants. College and High School Yearbooks are a great place to display photos. I have also seen people in recovery ask their friends to sign their sobriety certificates in the same way people sign yearbooks. Come to think of it, we could create a unique mash-up of a wedding reception guest book and a yearbook for those who achieve a year of sobriety. Photos could be used to personalize these items, which would be part of a larger celebration.
What’s my problem?
Once, a list of ideas like this would get me excited and motivated to go from idea to implementation with head-spinning speed. An executive coach of mine once warned me that I was unusual in this respect. He based this observation on a population-normed questionnaire and his interactions with me. Turns out I am a man of extremes. 90th percentile on some items, 10th on others. But generating and implementing ideas is one of those things I can do at speeds that frighten more conventional people.
The downside of being a restless inventor is that I am too enthused with my next project to provide my last with all the attention it deserves. I am not a dreamer who can’t get projects out of my head into reality. I am more of a serial Johnny Appleseed who doesn’t always wait around long enough to take my apples to market.
Finding a Minister of Photos
Whereas I used to love implementing new ideas at breakneck speed, I now look at a list of these ideas and repeat a mantra my pastor has drilled into my head: “No ministry without a minister.”
Each idea is a ministry, and each ministry needs a minister.
It’s all around healthier if someone else takes these ideas to completion. I say healthier because the Minister of Photos will give the ministry the attention it needs. Being a minister is also beneficial for the minister, as it provides a pleasant and meaningful way for a person to contribute and develop their skills.
When I find that person, I’ll have this Substack article to show them. It will serve as a first draft of the project's charter. I feel my role shifting from Captain of New Ideas to that of Volunteer Opportunity Wholesaler—I’ve got every size, every style of Ministry.
While waiting for a volunteer to take this over, I’ll just enjoy this little song about a picture book.